Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Violated Trust, Violated Safety

How would you react if a teacher at your son's school:
1. put your son in the care of a mother you've only met a handful to times and can't remember the name of without being reminded?
2. had the mother who seems nice, who you most definitely don't know pretty much at all, drive him in her car WITH NO CAR SEAT home supposedly sick from a field trip in a major city on several major freeways an hour away from your home and his school?
3. did all of this without your explicit permission and without even attempting to contact you?

Would you send him back to said school the next day not having fully resolved such a huge violation of safety and trust? Poor kid. He's been through enough already, having just switched to this school.

I'm too viciously angry to write another word about this. I can write nothing else, not even a bit of the chapters I have due to my publisher tomorrow.

I'm going to slip into my son's bed and hug him while he sleeps. Happy he is safe and home, where I can be 100 percent sure of his whereabouts and wellness.

And no, I did not meet my first-three-chapters book deadline, in part because I was dealing with this bullshit half the day.

Ps. The teacher was worried for my son's health, which hasn't exactly been top notch lately. He claims he was acting out of his heart and I believe this, but his approach was still irresponsible and out of the bounds of my trust, patience and basic rights as a parent of a school-aged child.

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25 Comments:

At 9:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

whoa- that's not cool and totally against the law- choose the path you take with this wisely!!

 
At 10:00 PM, Blogger Becky C. said...

That is Bullshit--but you already know that.

I think I would not send him back to the school until I had an opportunity to sit and have a full discussion of it with the principal and whoever else was responsible for this.

In the meantime--I suggest a bottle of wine.

~Becky

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger Iris said...

oh, goodness, I would be livid.... keep us posted

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger charlotte said...

You have every right to be enraged. I would be too. It is unacceptable to allow a child to travel without a car seat. What were they thinking?

 
At 11:16 PM, Blogger Domestic Slackstress said...

I can't get a break -- Just found out on the 11 p.m. news that there's been a case of menengitis at my other son's preschool. Must call to get info. before bringing him, if at all, tomorrow. You gotta' be kidding me.

 
At 11:22 PM, Blogger karenkt said...

when it rains, it pours, huh mama.
What was that mother thinking??? you need to sit down with the school and with her. Calmly, though. stay in control. keep the end in mind.

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger Awesome Mom said...

Ugh! I hope that the deluge is over soon. I would totally be pissed. That mom should have known better as far as the car seat issue goes. There is no way I would transport another person's kid in my own car with out the proper car seat.

 
At 4:57 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

Holy Shit!!!!

Um I might be inclined to call the local news channels. Unbelievable and unaccaptable. Period. I would have a very very difficult time sending my kid back to that school. That being said, I haven't read any of the comments yet because I am fuming for you. I also know it isn't so easy to just yank a kid out of school.

Here is what I would do.

I would go in person to the superintendent's office and demand a meeting, in person. Then, in said meeting I would want the superintendent kissing my ass and falling all over him/herself to make it right...including change of school policies and written letters of apology from the principals of the school and any other person involved at the school who allowed this to happen. I may even want someone fired.

I.can.not.imagine.

Your week has GOT to get better.

 
At 5:00 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

I have one more thing to add in my fury-for-blogging-mama-I-don't-know-personally....

What is UP with that other mom?!!! What mom thinks about doing this with someone elses kid, *without permission* for three seconds withouth thinking, gee maybe this isn' a great plan?!

Don't even get me started on the car seat...

Truly, Im so sorry.

 
At 6:27 AM, Blogger karrie said...

The fuck???

I can't believe they would do all of that without contacting you, or any of your backup contacts first. I would be outraged.

 
At 6:28 AM, Blogger karrie said...

p.s. Work it into the book somehow!

 
At 6:45 AM, Anonymous Plain Jane Mom said...

Nope, I sure wouldn't bring him back there. And what is that other mom's problem? She's not blameless here. No carseat? I would go out of my mind if that happened.

I'm so sorry this is happening.

 
At 7:53 AM, Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

Wow. I would be beyond pissed off, not just at the school, but at the mom who drove your child in her car with no friggin car seat! What were they thinking?????

Thank you for your comments on my blog. I was up trolling the net last night too!

 
At 8:28 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Seriously. You. Got. To Be. Kidding. Me.

I would be all over the school, the teachers in charge that day, the administration, the principal, the lunch ladies even, LIKE STINK ON SHIT until this was made right by me. And even then I would have them kiss my ass till next school year. And then I would write a little editorial to my local paper ranting over the level of education of the people in charge of my child and that they should be thanking God that I am not calling the Police for illegally transporting my child without my permisssion. Yuppers. The whole friggin town would run when they saw me commin.

 
At 8:39 AM, Blogger hellomelissa said...

litigation much?

i'd be hysterical.

 
At 9:09 AM, Anonymous innieminnie said...

Doesn't the law in California require booster seats up to six years or 60 pounds? Is your son one or both? I don't think anyone broke the law. Your confidence in the school is another matter, I realize. Was he buckled up and in the back seat? Is he small?

 
At 11:08 AM, Anonymous Kate said...

Hi there, discovered your blog a little while ago and just wanted to say its nice to see someone who tells it like it is, without flowers or frippery!
As an early childhood caregiver, there is no way I would ever consider transporting someone else's kid without a carseat, I make my large sized 5 year old give up her booster if we have anyone smaller than her in the car, not to mention the extra baby carseat I carry all the time. Did you have to sign a permission slip when he started the school? or even before he went on the trip?
The least I would have done as the "other mother" would be to have called you to introduce myself and let you know whats happening.
I totally agree with your rage.

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger Domestic Slackstress said...

http://www.chp.ca.gov/html/boosterseats.html Although I have closure on the entire situation now, well, as of this morning, I'm still confused about the California booster seat law. It states that a child must at least be age 6 or 60 pounds. See the link above. Does that mean that a child of 42 pounds like mine does not have to ride in a booster seat simply because he is now (and newly) 6 years old? Anyone have clarification? Either way, I will be at future community meetings at the school to keep safety at the forefront, right along with their amazing curriculum. Without safety as a FIRST priority at schools, no matter what school, all else means nada.

Also, I would like to make a correction and say that the one menengitis case I mentioned earlier was not detected at my son's preschool, but at the college campus that my son's preschool is located at. He went to school today without alarm. All is fine. The TV news has a way of putting their own spin on things, as I'm sure all of you know.

Thanks for all your commentary. Truly appreciated.

 
At 12:18 PM, Blogger Iris said...

The clarification on that law to me would be that they would have to fit both criteria, over 6 and over 60....not either or.

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I don't care WHAT she said, you have a cell phone and she had the number and that is the end of the evidence I would need.

 
At 4:26 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

I have been thinking about this all day. Im glad you got some closure and I hope it included some serious ass kissing.

How many freaking phone numbers and forms do all of us mothers have to fill out for stuff....only to never be called? Baaaah crazy!

 
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