Saturday, March 03, 2007

I'm a Totally Tubular Tool

I.Am.a.Clueless.Mother.My.Kids.Are.Cooler.Than.Me.It's.Happening.

(and I apparently have no regard for punctuation and proper spacing, either)

You know you are old and totally uncool when your six-year-old son says, "That's tight!" from the back of your minivan and you wonder if you should pull over and help him unscrew the cap from his apple juice drink.

Confirmation that you are a washed up has-been cool-ite arrives when, upon further investigation, your mad-wiser-than-you-about-the-latest-vernacular bright-eyed boy hand-holds mom-dork you, explaining slowly and loudly, as if you are 90-years-old that, "Tight is what the kids say when they think something is cool, mom. It's like saying, 'Wow. That really impresses me."

Well, all-righty then. Consider me schooled, Mr. Alterna-kindergarten.

"C'mon, mom. I thought you would know that."

How I wish I did. Um, I kind of did. But really I didn't. I can only think of crusty, Love's Baby Soft scented times in the 80s when my permed just-so, United Colors of Benneton clad skater-preppie hybrid friends said things like, "Totally tubular, man" and "That's Awesome, dude."

Go ahead. Sign me up for the old folks home, only if they have complimentary iPods with a constant 80s shuffle built-in.

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14 Comments:

At 12:58 PM, Blogger Loralee Choate said...

I seem to have the opposite problem. My 10-year-old called his 7-year-old brother a "Spry, young whippersnapper" yesterday.

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger Em said...

I think I should affirm your comments with a 'true, that'...but I'm too unhip to even use those words.

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger parrotheadmom said...

just say chilax now and again and you'll be as cool as me.
:)

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger Lara said...

hah! i like your six-year-old. :)

my high-school students often do double-takes if i say something too surprisingly hip and with-it. like when i say, "word" in agreement with something they've said. they're always like, "miss david, did you just say 'word'?" and then i have to remind them that i'm not as old as they all seem to think i am. :-P

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger charlotte said...

Tight, hmm? Must memorise. Can't let the image slip.

 
At 1:06 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

Im sure my almost 3 yr old will be out with it in no time flat...I am taking notes.

 
At 3:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

bitchin

 
At 7:59 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Chillaxin', as someone already mentioned, is one of the newer "in" things to say. I have been using it for about a year now.

Have you heard the lyrics of "Back When" by Tim McGraw? An excerpt:

We've gotten too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when

:)

 
At 12:26 AM, Blogger mad muthas said...

yeah but at least he thought you would have known it. my two have given up on me totally.

 
At 7:51 AM, Blogger crazymumma said...

My bigirl caught me playing air guitar to All Along the Watchtower yesterday...the look on her face was... well you can imagine. When I tried to explain how IMPORTANT and VITAL Jimi Hendrix was, she rolled her eyes and went and put on Crocodile Rock by Elton John.

sigh.

 
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