Saturday, June 09, 2007

Unabashed Bragging

No coffee. Much brain cloud. Brewing not fast enough as I type.

I realized at midnight last night that I didn't drink a drop of coffee yesterday. It's a wonder I didn't die of withdrawals. Somehow I scraped by on what little caffeine lurks in a colosssal Matcha Green Tea Myst Jamba Juice smoothie, then later a homemade Trader Joe's version of the same.

But I don't want to drone on about coffee and my pot-a-day habit. Stop nodding in agreement, would you? Instead, let's talk about the fact that I NEVER HAVE TO BUY ANOTHER PACK OF DIAPERS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, barring Depends, of course, and I'm not brave enough to broach that topic yet. To those who are thanking me for sparing you the stomach churning visuals, you're very welcome.

I've probably already announced this here, but my "mom brain" knows no limits, so I'll do it again. About a month ago Pigtails up and decided all on her own that diapers are for wussies, I mean babies. Yes, she peed on the brand new neighbors brand new carpet last week, but she's been accident free other than that one party foul.

Though diapers are a thing of the past (for the first time in SIX years! Yip-freakin'-eee!) in my parenting universe, along with breastfeeding (flopping my lactating twins over the back seat to emergency nurse on the freeway), rectal thermometers (ancient infant torture devices) and nasal aspirators (fancy name for pediatric snot suckers), I'm not yet off the hook on wiping duty. I expect to be instrumental in that department for some time. Raw deal.

Pigtails continues to emerge from a successful potty experience with her underwear and pants/shorts/skirt collapsed around her ankles, open palm and arms exteded straight up in anticipation of a well deserved "high five." Hey, if she merely wants a skin-slap reward, I'm down. At least she doesn't expect a fistful of M&Ms or a lame Sponge Bob sticker that I'll end up picking out of our kitten's fur.

Pigtails seems to think I'm potty training too now that she's mastered toileting, and so what if I still am? She waltzes into my bathroom (the kids have their own, complete with primary colors run amuck and a urine stench I can't exorcise from the linoleum once and for all - blame it on my bad-aim boys) and asks, "You did it yet, Mommy? You knee a high five?" She gushes when the job's done, "I'm so pwoud of you. You are soooo big now, Mama. Wait til I tell Daddy you made a big poop!" I know. It's so wrong.

Well, the kids are begging me to make them smoothies "weally a lot like Jah-ma Juice, pwease!" Not until I've had my third mug of sugar with coffee and cream.

Labels:

7 Comments:

At 11:58 AM, Blogger Lara said...

wow, i bet it just warms daddy's heart to hear about mommy's big poops. that, friends, is what marriage is all about. ;)

 
At 12:01 PM, Blogger ewe are here said...

Wow. I envy you the diaper-free zone. We've just barely entered potty training potential of the toddler...

 
At 11:15 AM, Blogger Mama Sarita said...

I could have written this post. I have taken to putting the baby on the potty before bath, you know, just in case he wants to potty train at 13 months...a mama can dream, right??

Only one in diapers is heaven! Congrats on pigtails quitting those diapers!!

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

nike outlet, polo outlet, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, prada outlet, michael kors outlet, nike free, tory burch outlet, michael kors outlet store, uggs outlet, christian louboutin outlet, jordan shoes, oakley sunglasses wholesale, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet, prada handbags, polo ralph lauren outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, christian louboutin, burberry outlet, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, gucci handbags, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton, tiffany and co, louis vuitton, christian louboutin shoes, uggs on sale, replica watches, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, replica watches, christian louboutin uk, burberry handbags, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, uggs outlet

 
At 7:27 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

coach outlet, sac hermes, nike tn, louboutin pas cher, jordan pas cher, new balance, sac longchamp pas cher, true religion outlet, hogan outlet, michael kors pas cher, hollister pas cher, air max, nike roshe, longchamp pas cher, timberland pas cher, hollister uk, burberry pas cher, coach outlet, lululemon canada, nike blazer pas cher, true religion outlet, polo lacoste, ray ban pas cher, coach outlet store online, north face, michael kors outlet, nike air max, guess pas cher, kate spade, chanel handbags, ray ban uk, nike free run, kate spade outlet, true religion outlet, oakley pas cher, true religion jeans, north face uk, sac vanessa bruno, michael kors, converse pas cher, nike air force, coach purses, michael kors, vans pas cher, polo ralph lauren

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

polo lacoste, sac vanessa bruno, ray ban pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike free run, nike air force, michael kors, north face, hogan outlet, coach purses, oakley pas cher, new balance, sac longchamp pas cher, nike air max, coach outlet, true religion jeans, chanel handbags, north face uk, polo ralph lauren, kate spade, longchamp pas cher, michael kors, coach outlet, timberland pas cher, nike blazer pas cher, burberry pas cher, true religion outlet, louboutin pas cher, nike tn, nike roshe, sac hermes, air max, lululemon canada, jordan pas cher, guess pas cher, vans pas cher, true religion outlet, converse pas cher, true religion outlet, kate spade outlet, michael kors outlet, ray ban uk, coach outlet store online, michael kors pas cher, hollister uk

 
At 7:38 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

hollister, louis vuitton, montre pas cher, pandora jewelry, links of london, louis vuitton, thomas sabo, lancel, louis vuitton, coach outlet, louboutin, hollister, replica watches, nike air max, converse, vans, doke gabbana, michael kors outlet, ugg, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, supra shoes, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, pandora uk, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, ralph lauren, swarovski crystal, swarovski, karen millen uk, juicy couture outlet, oakley, ray ban, converse outlet, ugg pas cher, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet online, gucci, michael kors handbags, ugg uk, iphone 6 cases, juicy couture outlet, timberland boots, pandora charms, wedding dresses, toms shoes, marc jacobs

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home