Saturday, December 30, 2006

Slackstress Christmas Menu: Dropped Cake and Regurgitated Shrimp (An Apology for Blowing Off My Blog)

Amnesia. That's it. Amnesia. I got struck by an errant, oversized palm frond ripped down from its high perch by gale force winds here in Southern California, got Amnesia and forgot that I had this blog.

Okay, I lie.

I got stricken with a major case of inertia and lack of motivation. The Slackstres slacks hard.

But I'm back now. Back in my pastel, pin-striped matching jammies set and ankle socks, squatting before the laptop on the cold wooden floor in my empty, quiet living room.

Everyone in the house is asleep with mouths agape and limp limbs akimbo. The only person I've spoken to with my sand paper-y, manly morning voice this morning is the matter-of-fact nurse at the pediatrician's office. Yes, I'm fortunate enough to have a pediatrician group who sees fever stricken, booger encased children six days a week, including Saturdays. Since their services are first come, first served today I'd better rub the sleep from my eyes, pound some stale coffee and rouse the sickies.

Moody Cheeks McGee, 3, is lethargic and feverish. I suspect his ear infection never truly went away. His little sister Pigtail Sprite, 2, coughed all night and early morning as if she puffs two packs of unfiltered Camels a day. Eventually she threw up a long thread of phlegm into her hands. Nice catch, Pigtails.

She ate so much shrimp cocktail (are two year olds even supposed to eat crustaceans at such a tender age and why did I fail to check?) on Christmas Eve that she threw it all up nearly in its original, barely chewed, practically swallowed state. I knew she wasn't sick otherwise because her vomit literally was comprised only of rejected shrimp chunks. In the process, she climbed out of bed, and her own sick, and spied the loot "Santa left" for her and her brothers, including her crowning gift jewel, a pink and purple RadioFlyer tricycle.

"Brudders got scooters?" she asked, half asleep and stinking badly. "An' I gotta new bike? Did Santa be here?"

Two of the munchkins are awake (and breaking into their model airplane kits from "Santa") and my parents-in-law are on their way over to take my sleeping beauty husband out for brunch with his brother.

The pediatrician's is my destination. And, as far as I know, they don't have sparkling Mimosas there, which is a good thing. On Christmas Eve I chucked a few things of my own as well. I tossed back a whole bottle of champagne via bubbly Mimosa after bubbly Mimosa and accidentally dropped the fancy carrot cake my father-in-law graciously brought over straight into the washing machine. At least the cake was certifiably stainlifter clean.

Happy New Year, and try not to launder your dessert.

6 Comments:

At 2:46 PM, Anonymous croutonboy said...

The cake went into the washing machine? That sounds like a carnival game! It could be right next to the shrimp-booting booth.

Hope everyone is feeling well! And Merry (belated) Christmas!

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Girl you kill me! sorry about the sick kiddos! That's stinky. If I would have dropped the cake in the washing machine it would have stayed there til the next morning. haha. I've never claimed to be a good house keeper!

 
At 6:09 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

nike outlet, polo outlet, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, prada outlet, michael kors outlet, nike free, tory burch outlet, michael kors outlet store, uggs outlet, christian louboutin outlet, jordan shoes, oakley sunglasses wholesale, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet, prada handbags, polo ralph lauren outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, christian louboutin, burberry outlet, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, gucci handbags, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton, tiffany and co, louis vuitton, christian louboutin shoes, uggs on sale, replica watches, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, replica watches, christian louboutin uk, burberry handbags, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, uggs outlet

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

coach outlet, sac hermes, nike tn, louboutin pas cher, jordan pas cher, new balance, sac longchamp pas cher, true religion outlet, hogan outlet, michael kors pas cher, hollister pas cher, air max, nike roshe, longchamp pas cher, timberland pas cher, hollister uk, burberry pas cher, coach outlet, lululemon canada, nike blazer pas cher, true religion outlet, polo lacoste, ray ban pas cher, coach outlet store online, north face, michael kors outlet, nike air max, guess pas cher, kate spade, chanel handbags, ray ban uk, nike free run, kate spade outlet, true religion outlet, oakley pas cher, true religion jeans, north face uk, sac vanessa bruno, michael kors, converse pas cher, nike air force, coach purses, michael kors, vans pas cher, polo ralph lauren

 
At 6:31 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

polo lacoste, sac vanessa bruno, ray ban pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike free run, nike air force, michael kors, north face, hogan outlet, coach purses, oakley pas cher, new balance, sac longchamp pas cher, nike air max, coach outlet, true religion jeans, chanel handbags, north face uk, polo ralph lauren, kate spade, longchamp pas cher, michael kors, coach outlet, timberland pas cher, nike blazer pas cher, burberry pas cher, true religion outlet, louboutin pas cher, nike tn, nike roshe, sac hermes, air max, lululemon canada, jordan pas cher, guess pas cher, vans pas cher, true religion outlet, converse pas cher, true religion outlet, kate spade outlet, michael kors outlet, ray ban uk, coach outlet store online, michael kors pas cher, hollister uk

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

hollister, louis vuitton, montre pas cher, pandora jewelry, links of london, louis vuitton, thomas sabo, lancel, louis vuitton, coach outlet, louboutin, hollister, replica watches, nike air max, converse, vans, doke gabbana, michael kors outlet, ugg, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, supra shoes, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, pandora uk, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, ralph lauren, swarovski crystal, swarovski, karen millen uk, juicy couture outlet, oakley, ray ban, converse outlet, ugg pas cher, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet online, gucci, michael kors handbags, ugg uk, iphone 6 cases, juicy couture outlet, timberland boots, pandora charms, wedding dresses, toms shoes, marc jacobs

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home