Monday, February 12, 2007

Welcome to the Mom Blogularity Contest, Take a Number

*Thank you, Oh The Joys for emailing me and helping me gather enough courage/gumption to re-post this for keepers:

Several commenters on my blog recently pointed out that some mom blogs are now doubling as popularity contests. Ya think?!

I feel relieved that other mom bloggers are buzzing/ranting/bitching about this at a time when blog awards bestowed upon bloggers from fellow bloggers appear to be at an all-time high. And some blog awards are getting downright ridiculous. And, yes, I'm jealous.

There's an award for everything now. While I'm all for patting each other on the blogging back, well, I think it's gone a little too far. Did I already admit that I'm jealous?

Perhaps I wouldn't be knocking some of these awards, gratuitous or not, if I'd just become the recipient of some amazing, impressive, complimentary mom blogging award. It's pretty likely I'd be basking in the glow of my accolades, not knocking the ubiquity and overall overcooked processed hot dog quality of the recent glut of blog awards.

I'm going to come out and admit the ugly, embarrassing truth right now -- I wish I were a popular mom blogger. I hate it when I (compulsively) check my Google Analytics and see that only 26 people stopped by my blog on any given day.

What ever happened to when I used to get 100 visitors a day? Doesn't sound like much for some, but those kind of numbers spell success to me. Oh yeah, that’s when I was busy broaching controversial topics like sex after kids and the freaky pedophiles that stalked my blog for weeks on end.

I abhor it even more when I log on and see that my post of the day only garnered one measly comment or perhaps none at all. Why is it so easy to become a comments addict?

Hi, my name is Kim (aka domestic slackstress) and I’m a comment-a-holic. I have been comment free for 10 days. I’m now living my life one comment at a time. From this day forward, I'm going to work the program and work the comments.

I wish I were as modern-mama-blog-a-mama cool and commercially blog-successful as Dooce, who only seems to turn on her comments capability when she feels like instantly getting 368 validating answers to basic questions about potty training and nutty fan letters. You know you want to be like her too. Admit it, honey. Why can't short hair like Heather B. Armstrong's look as sharp and edgy on me?

How can I be as naturally funny as OhTheJoys? That's right. Funny isn't learned. It just is.

I wish I could post something as simple as "I went to Trader Joe's with the kids to buy Japanese Rice crackers because we had a collective craving for MSG and seaweed," and instantly receive 32 comments saying irrelevant blibber blubber like, "I loooove Nori Maki too." and "Wow. Great post. I was moved by your simplicity. Way to list your grocery list, girl. Keep up the good work." Some of the posts that win a million comments are shockingly mundane. Shockingly terse. Shocking in their lack of content shock value. Shocking in their Lack. Of. Content. At. All.

Why do I feel the need to be a well-known, super-popular mom blogger? What drives me to be such a star-struck blogger with a blog that started as a way to pitch in a little Google Adsense (Google No-cents) money into our bad joke of a non-budget? Exactly how sick of my unending questions are you?

Let's face it. I need the money. I want the fame.

Between tackling toppling stacks of laundry and scraping dried-up jelly donut innards from the germ incubating kitchen floor, maybe I'll have time today to create my own blog award called Most Wanna-be Dooce-i-est Mom Blogger Award. I’ll even nominate myself for it straight away.

Don't hold your breath. Just be sure to click on "Comments" before you turn blue.

These are the narcissistic ramblings of my tired night mind. Of my busy digesting crab rangoon and nine sesame date balls I stashed into my purse at the buffet mind-body-belly. Stuffed like a hormone swollen turkey at Thanksgiving with Chinese food from a cheap Chinese joint.

Does a bottle of Tums count as dessert?

Ps. Someone who is royal a pain in the arse kind of good friend just now reminded me that I won a Rolling on the Floor Laughing Award (ROFL) for my Oct. 2006 toy ad satire post called "F-Bomb Cop." You didn't hear me complaining about that award, now did you? Now I can shut up and cease being a hypocrite. I even wrote a post-win post about winning the award, officially making me a willing member of the mom blogularity contest. Oops. Count me in.

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At 11:14 AM, Blogger Erika Jurney said...


I'm... let's say "confused" by the "I just got nominated so go vote for me" posts.

Never having been nominated for an award I suppose this is easy for me to say, but it just strikes me as... different to ask for votes.

And I love blogging. I love getting visitors, and comments, and people linking to me and all that. But somehow the awards seem different.

That said, I am awarding you the Plain Jane Mom "Speak the Truthiness" award! Congrats. There's no voting, and no button to add to your blog. But you're a winner just the same.

At 11:53 AM, Blogger OhTheJoys said...

Being a strong believer in the idea that there is a song for every occasion, I'm singing "Tell It Like It Is" for you right now.

I second Plain Jane Mom's truthiness telling award nomination... and if I knew how to make a button I would totally make you one.

At 12:14 PM, Blogger Liv said...

Kim, this really was a great post. And we all feel you. Do you feel us feeling you? Who doesn't want loads of attention fired back at them for laying it all out there. Right now, I just feel lucky that there is a nice core of blogging or blogger (what is the difference, Jess?) women who comment with semi-regularity. So, ixnay on the blog caste system, and darling Kim, don't dare to cut your hair like Heather B. You are beautiful in every picture I've stalked you in.

At 1:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm totally right there with you on this! I've kind of considered stopping blogging because it's such a self-esteem rollercoaster for me (tells you something about me there, doesn't it?). I'm trying to put it in perspective and clarify why I'm blogging at all to begin with. I'm blogging for me. Right? Right.

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Adventures in Baby Fat said...

I am *so* glad you reposted this. I managed to catch this before it went away on a brief hiatus.

We all feel it! I agree with the award too!!!

Try your hardest not to worry about what's popular. Be the hero for being you, being what is relevant to you NOW! The secret is you're never alone. Bask in the readership you do have, stay true, and those numbers are gonna grow, sister.

And hey, you never know when you'll be linked on someone else's blog for being relevant and true (and funny!). (Psst, I linked you last night!).

Here's to stalking the cool, tellin-it-like-it-is Mommy Blogs!!!

At 1:36 PM, Blogger Loralee Choate said...

I'm an attention-whore.

Sad, but there it is. THAT said, I don't really think these blog awards are all they are cracked up to be. Would I be flattered, sure. BUT. The process isn't really that selective, now is it? Someone mentions your name and then you have to slag around for votes???

Not my style.

I have been lucky to get attention in other areas and am pretty happy with my readership, but I think everyone has times of sheer envy.

I guess I don't say a ton here because other mom's scare me. I'm not really a cookie cutter person, and my blog "Really" isn't. I am a mom, but my blog is pretty random so I don't really fit in anywhere.

If it makes you feel better, I also don't comment a lot here, because I just assumed your blog was one of the bigger blogs.

At 1:42 PM, Blogger Loralee Choate said...

I also have to say something else (See? You are going to be sorry I said anything because now I won't shut up!)

Comments are very hard to get. There is one blog I read who gets about 30-40 comments a post. Until I figured something out.

Every day of the week she is participating in some circle or activity (IE "Sunday Scribbling")

While a couple of those things are cool, I think I would rather stick to a lower comment average because I have loyal people who read because they are interested.

Same goes for linking and blogrolls: What is the point? Technorati just doesn't really reflect a blogs true worth, if you get my drift.

What I like to see? Blogline subscriptions.

AND, you're on mine.

NOW I'm shutting up. Pinky swear.

At 1:51 PM, Blogger Christina said...

I'm so glad you put this post back up.

And I can't agree with you more. The insane amount of self-worth I put into each of my blog posts is absurd. If I don't get comments, or if my site stats go down, I wonder what I did wrong. Others I know get 50+ comments per post, while I'm happy to get a few, and deliriously happy to get double digits.

Like you, I need the money and want the fame. I can admit this without shame. But how to go about it without tying too much of our self-esteem to blogging?

(And while I don't comment a lot, you're on my Bloglines!)

At 7:08 PM, Blogger simplicity said...

I'm with you...I see it.

And it's hard.

But recently, I came to grips with the fact that my blog is mine...for me. And if it gets me anywhere with anyone, great and if not...I've had a heck of a time.

Nice post!

At 7:48 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

I just found your blog today. Great post, very timely! I just received my very first comments on my blog (started in November) and I was thrilled. I'm not really looking for popularity, my blogs really are just a chance for me to practice writing. Anyhoo, I now know what it feels like to get comments and it rules!

At 6:34 AM, Blogger Damselfly said...

Coming to your site from Plain Jane Mom. You've put into words what I haven't been able to put my finger on about the dark side of blogging. Heh. I don't have ads on my site, so I really don't care how many people visit each day, but you're right -- how do some of these fantastic bloggers post the most ordinary stuff and still get 57 comments?! And yes I'm jealous too. ;)

At 7:30 AM, Blogger Lisa said...

I came here through Plain Jan Mom, and can I just say "Amen!" to this?!

I have said the same thing on my blog (but beat around the bush at it). I am amazed at the number of comments some people get at a post that I either 1. read the other day on another blog (copycatter!); 2. talks about the amount of drinking they do and how broke they are but yet they bought a $149 shirt at a boutique and people are all, "Oh, you deserve it, girlfriend!"; 3. or I am sitting scratching my head trying to figure out what the heck they just said! If it makes you feel better, I bet big $$ that at least one of the "populah" bloggers uses aliases to post comments on their threads. Seriously.

There is one blog that used to be really good until lately. Now she keeps posting debate topics that are sure to get people riled up, and I'm getting really bored. The last one, I wanted to comment with: "Booooooo! Hissss!" :)

Thanks for speaking for many of us.

At 7:57 AM, Blogger karrie said...

Did blogger eat my freaking comment?? Aaaargh.

Oh well.

At 11:21 AM, Blogger Crunchy Carpets said...

Face it ain't HIP enough or ecologically angry to get nominated or to have a circle of like minded coolness encircling you and loading you down with comments and awards.

Us 'ordinary' moms dealing with 'ordinary' stuff and not fighting against consumerism or suburbanism or alcoholism or SOMETHING...just ain't exciting enough.

I have noticed that I don't even get acknowledgment for comments on some bloggers if it disagrees with the post. There seems to be a big hug clique thing going on these days.

I too will admit I am a comment junkie..but I consider comments the second half of the conversation and want the back and forth.

Or I am just insecure and want everyone to love me.

Oh and the money and fame WOULD be nice.

At 3:40 PM, Blogger Em said...

If you go to Trader Joe's - I want to know! You better be telling us! :)

At 8:14 PM, Blogger Lara said...

hi there - i just came through the blogger chicks list (i think someone clicked on my blog through your list, so i came looking to see). i just wanted to say that i'm not a mommy blogger, but even just as a regular blogger i definitely know what you mean. i see so many awards that it begins to seem like the quantity takes away from the quality. but at the same time, i want that sort of validation so much. and yes, i'm a self-confessed "comment whore," and every time i receive an email, i'm hoping it's a comment from someone. it comes from a lifelong desire to feel loved, accepted, *popular*, etc. i'm not sure how to get past that and just do what i want to do because it's my blog, damnit.

also, i'm giving you an award for "color and design most similar to my blog." because golly our blog designs look a lot alike. :)

sorry for the rambling comment! just wanted to say hi and i totally hear what you're saying.

At 8:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a side note, I'd like to say that a lot of the "popular" blogs get comments on the most mundane things because then they may get some links off it.

I can't fathom that there are that many people who really think that their "choice blogger" is really as pretty and wonderful and stupendous as they say in their comments. They are all just hoping for someone else to link to them.

And it works. Most of my blog friends I found through going through comments on some of the more popular blogs. :)

I found yours because I liked your comment on Katronika the other day.

At 2:16 PM, Blogger Mama Sarita said...

I have been so intimidated by the blogosphere. but we are all sick here and being the good mother that I am we have been lazing in front of the tv and I have immersed myself into this wacky world of mommy blogs. All the award winning blogs make me wonder if my blog is just annoying. but whatever...I have embraced my inner blog whore and am posting away at everyone's blog and throwing my musings up on mine because its fun.

At 9:22 PM, Blogger Pieces said...

I'm here via Bub and Pie. Thank you for writing this. I've been feeling kind of weird about all the bloggy awards yet don't want to say anything because then I just look jealous and petty. I am happy for the bloggers that I enjoy reading who are nominated for various awards but it still just leaves me feeling...I don't know...less. Less than what? Not sure. I can handle low stats and lower comments but the awards flying around make me feel a lot like the kid who is picked last for the team.

At 7:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

word, my dear, word.

i could have written this post.

At 9:34 AM, Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

This is wonderful, honest post. I have good traffic. I get a lot of comments. I like it. I would be unhappy if it stopped. But it wouldn't be the end of the world. The only thing that keeps me writing is the love of writing - NOT the popularity, and certainly not the money for gum that I get from ad networks. And the oly thing that keeps me visiting other blogs, is also the writing. Not their technorati stats, not their popularity. I have 'friends' that are popular, but I don't visit them exclusively, far from it (I actually visit them less than I do blogs by bloggers that I don;t know.) Part of the fun is exploration, discovery.

Oh, and? Ditto on the weirdness that is blog awards. I actually backed out of the Canadian Blog Awards because I didn't want to solicit votes. Of course, I immediately got hate mail accusing me of backing out to get attention. Damned if you do, damned if you don't...

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