Wednesday, May 02, 2007

When Meddling Moms Attack ... Dads

Sometimes I can't help but interfere when my husband plays D.O.D., the "dad on duty," as he puts it. I'm forcing myself not to right now.

He's in charge of the three B's tonight, Bath, Books and Bed, our usual bed time routine. So far, it's going disastrously. I'm supposed to be diligently working on a paid writing project but I can't go on because there's so much shouting and stomping in the boys' bedroom. If I'm alarmed, what do my neighbors think?

Did I mention how freaking hard it is not to go in there right now and put my pushy size 10 mama foot (ski) down?! My heart rate soars with every defiant "NO!" shouted in my husband's direction. Why are the boys refusing to get dressed?

Walk away. Block it out. Don't go in there and be a bitchy bitch. Don't be a control freak mama. Let Daddy do the job. Block the "wild rumpus" out. Be the master of ignoring, like The Lawyer. Must get into the zone-out Zen zone.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW! YOU ARE BROTHERS! STOP BEATING ON EACH OTHER!" my husband just boomed in the back end of the house. That's like asking brothers not to trip each other. I feel for the Hubster in the heat of the on-edge parenting moment, enough to rescue him when he doesn't need rescuing.

"I want Mommy to do bedtime," my daughter tearfully protests, whining every so irritatingly through her little nose.

Again, bedtime is for shit tonight. Would it be better if I were in charge? I don't know. Probably not, since I allow all three kids to manipulate the Hell out of me whenever and wherever.

I want to go kiss each and every one of my crying babes goodnight but don't want to spark an hour-long begging-for-mommy fest.

"Don't undermine me in front of the kids," my husband continually tells me. Do I listen? Hell no. Should I? Of course. So, tonight, right now, I'm going to stuff my overgrown talon tipped fingers in my ears, bite my freshly lipsticked for nothing lip and butt the heck out. Burying myself in the work just might work. Or not.

Wait. He's asked me to kiss them goodnight. The white flag has been raised. I'm no longer on deck ...

Maybe I should have stayed at the Internet cafe after all.

*Update -- Per norm, my goodnight kisses threw Daddy bedtime way off kilter for more than an hour. There. I proved myself guilty.

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At 10:09 PM, Anonymous you da mom! said...

i always do that. i'm like, "ok, i'll see you later...oh, and put this on the baby, and do this with him, and don't do that..." i can hardly get out the door!

oh, yeah, and i tagged you!

At 5:59 AM, Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

I, luckily, don't have that problem... it is my hubby who is easily manipulated by the kids and me, unfortunately, who has to march on in and demand order and death to chaos... not a pretty sight I tell you!

I think every apartment, house, villa, townhome... you name it... should come equipped with isolated Mummy rooms so we can escape and hear nothing! I feel for ya amiga mia!

And on a shameless side note... I am back and doing a blatant plug... hopefully my one and only! It has been too long since I played around in the blogosphere and missed you all much!

At 3:20 PM, Blogger Shauna said...

Yeah, I find that if I'm around, there's no escaping the mommy-mommy-mommy cries. It's easier to leave.

What goes on when I'm not around... I usually don't want to know.

At 8:15 AM, Blogger Em said...

In our house we've both had the experience is sitting and listening and wanting to help/interrupt/rescue. It is never easy to listen to the ruckus. But after having kids for 19 years, it gets way easier. I know my turn will I'm not rushing in there now! LOL

At 9:55 AM, Blogger Karen said...

If I am home, I'm in the thick of it. My only hope is to flee the scene...wish me luck with that!

At 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Kim- any chance you'd write a clever "don't buy gas on May 15th" post? I usually don't go for these things but we have to try something to get these gas prices down- I've gotten about 3 emails from different friends about this so maybe it might actually work-

At 7:40 PM, Blogger Amanda said...

My good friends have twins. For awhile, 90% of the time, Mom was putting them to bed because of Dad's work schedule.
When he was able to be home in the evenings more often, they decided to swap on and off, partially so that they girls could learn to go to bed for Dad as well as they do for Mom.
I got to be present on several occassions to see the resulting meltdown.
Kids are certainly persistent. Brilliant in their wee little manipulations. It took two hours the first night I was there, for Dad to get the girls to finally fall asleep, but he did not give up. Mom was a real trooper and let Dad do what he had to do. I was pretty amazed at their patience. I hope if I am ever a parent I can be HALF the parent my friends are!!

Happy Mother's Day, and kudos for all your hard mommy work!

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