Stuck Thumb on Stray Cat's Bum

I'm cracking up almost too hard to type. Moody Cheeks McGee, 3, is gonna' kill me for this later ... but I have to share this right away.

We were sitting out on the front steps a few minutes ago with his brother, sister and their friend Axel (what a killer name - love it) when the gray striped tiger kitten we started feeding "three to ten days ago," as my 5-year-old The Maestro of Mouth so accurately stated, pounced up and began to stretch.

The dirty homeless kitten we unoriginally named "Trixie" arched his back and stuck his ass up straight up in the air, flashing its furry bum-hole-io to the world.

Cheeks, apparently drawn to the kitty's red eye like moth to flame, just couldn't resist. He pressed his chubby three-year-old thumb right on that kitty's exit hole. Nasty, nasty, nasty. Only my Cheeks.

"Stop laughing at me, mommy," Cheeks whined through his nose as I scrubbed his hands with kitty bum-stink ridding lemon antibacterial soap while immaturely calling him a "bum toucher." Well, it's true.

"I didn't mean it, mommy," he said. "No laughing!"

Yeah right, Cheeks. And I didn't mean it either when I was toddler and violatingly thumb-tapped my cat Muffy's back door.

Sometimes you just can't resist a fine feline pucker button. Gross. Nice going, Cheeks.