Ambiguous Cocktail Play Date Hangover - Why Moms Are Buzzing

Just a minute ago The Today Show aired a segment on moms who drink alcohol during play dates. Isn't this non-news? Actually, I'm not sure. Right now my opinions are about as firm as Jell-o shots on the issue. Slippery at best.

Can't mothers "have a life" enough to party without dragging the kids along? Or do we all need a little fermented liquid helper to relax enough to hang out together without judging each other, without competing with each other over who has the most behaved child, which of our kids goes to the best school (Montessori, Waldorf, public, private) and which of us works out often enough?

Yes, at the risk of sounding completely processed squeeze-cheesy, this morning's report has me buzzing. (Yeah, I loves me a bad cliche.)

After a teaser for NBC's Cocktail Play Dates story, and during the commercials preceding it, I found myself asking these questions: How many more times can modern moms go under the societal microscope? How many more times can the media point the finger at stay-home and working moms for being anything less than perfect, even when they're simply trying to relax, to chill with fellow moms and have a little fun?

Surprisingly enough, and I mean a PLEASANT surprise from the media for once, The Today Show report miraculously did not lambaste or crucify moms for sipping more than just juice - fermented juice, wine and even hard alcohol laden cocktails - while corralling their mini-me's together to raise the play structure roof.



"A jungle gym, a sand box and a glass of wine," an NBC reporter dramatically announced, in the kind of overly sensational sentence fragment TV news is infamous for.(Face it, chopped up bites of sentences might be all the average American TV viewer is capable of digesting.) "It's hanging with the kids, feeling like a grown up."

Yes, Exactly. At first glance. But what happens when we go beyond the salted rim of the Marguerite glass?

I have to wonder, are we talking cocktail play dates on the weekend or a week day/work day? And why is it that we are forced to drink and socialize WITH the kids at arm's length? Where are the other halves to hopefully offer harried, often overwhelmed and overbooked moms their long overdue "me time"? Essential girls night out time. Are our partners that unsupportive that we can't go out drinking without the kids in Peg Perigo tow? Can't we count on each other to babysit, cover us for a while so we can enjoy a drink and a night on the town?

Do you think chardonnay sipping mothers in France and Sangria sipping mothers in Spain harangue each other like we do about their play date drink choices? Are American mothers really as paranoid and overly safety obsessed as the rest of the world says we are?

Personally, I've never had a drink during a play date, but I have on rare occasion ushered in the child frenzied morning in the privacy of my home with a sparkling Mimosa. Only during the holidays, in fact, when leftover champagne crowded the top shelf of my fridge. I don't think I've ever been to a child's birthday party where beer, wine or other spirits were served.

Now that I think of it, I take that back. Strong mimosas were served at a recent birthday party my eldest son was invited to. I only had one mimosa. The hostess repeatedly offered me more, despite my telling her over and over again that I had to stay sober to drive to our next birthday party of the day. I wonder how the other moms got home because many of them had far more than one.

A perky, slim, perfectly put together looking mom interviewed for Today's report with cocktail in hand said, "Sure, be sober 15, 16, 17 hours a day and watch (the kids) and I'd like to see if they're great moms."

Perhaps she went a little too far in her public boldness here, but I see where she was headed. As a fan of honesty, full disclosure and cathartic public confessions, I applaud her bravery.

We all know that sometimes staying home with the kids borders on madness. It's a daily exercise in testing our personal limits, our patience, our fortitude. So what if a touch of merlot at the end of a bitch of a day with the kids takes you places that mantras and meditation might not. Pleaes, just don't swig like a lush, dear mamas. Especially if your partner won't be home to put the kids to bed.

Who am I to preach, ladies? I got plenty tipsy on Christmas Eve when the kids were still up and dropped a cake in the washing machine. In my defense, my parents-in-law and husband were on hand to help with the kids when mommy took herself too far. Come on, it was the holidays. I was festive.

Still, I'm mixed like a stiff drink on the whole issue. How about you? Let me know where you stand? If you've attended cocktail play dates, share your story? I find that whenever moms come out, take a risk and admit to their mistakes, we all feel better. We know we're not isolated. Alone. I allow for anonymous comments here, so don't be shy.

"it's not that they need a drink, they say," but that having one is the break between boredom and loneliness that moms seek."

One of the silliest news bits that came out of this morning's report was "Juice boxes coexist with wine glasses here." Who writes this stuff?

A book called Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay was also featured in the report. I think I can wait for that one to come out at the library.

Mothers Don't Let Sloshed Mothers Drive Home Drunk From Play Dates (MDLSMDHDFPD or MADD? I'm sticking with MADD. It's shorter, and who can remember the other trailing acronym when seeing double?!)
One last thought, just who is driving these kids home from play dates if all the moms are tipping it back? Why wasn't the issue of designated drivers broached in The Today Show report? As a journalist, I think they really missed the boat on this one.

What does the idea of cocktail play dates shake up and stir in you?

Ps. Cheeks is at the pediatrican's with his papa, hopefully having his staples removed from his head. I'll let you know how it went.