L'Eggo My Bunko Kitty and the Mystery of Why Kids Wipe Boogers Everywhere but on Tissues

So, okay, I showed up to Bunko/ladies' night out last night a half-hour late and three bucks short of what I was supposed to contribute to the kitty.

But I had a peace offering. A very sopping-with-saturated-fat-in-a-good way peace offering. Homemade bacon-wrapped cheese and bread balls. According to the Bunko ladies, anyone who wraps food stuffs of any kind in dead smoked pig belly is good in their book, even excused for their tardiness, the tardiness that held up the entire game.

My lateness karma came full circle within minutes, as I scribed one L for loser after another on my Bunko score card. I did roll a full Bunko once between sharp bites of cashew brittle and gooey peppermint bark but it wasn't enough to keep me at the winner's table very long. Not long enough to win my lacking kitty contribution back.

Excuse me but a small human being coated in her own sick is pulling on my arm right now. I'll finish up later between swabbing small humans free of their own phlegm. In the meantime, here's a snippet of a letter I emailed to my generous worker bee husband a minute ago:

We've had a fun morning drawing super hero robots, making OJ together and mopping up one another's sick juices flowing from one nostril or another. Mouth (5) and I drew a very cool and super functional super hero robot lair/house. Pigtail's (2) been tempestuous and needy, per her usual as of late. Who is that little girl lately? Is this her terrible two turn? I don't recognize her and fail to have as much patience with her as you have seemingly effortlessly. She is your "best girl" though.

Have you figured out yet why the kids feel the need to smear their boogers on their sleeves/the couch/the dining room tablecloth/the carpet/the bathroom countertop? What's so hard about using a tissue? And as far as I know, boogers have no nutritional value so why does one kid in particular continue to insist on eating them? While I'm at it, what's so tough about flushing the toilet? The boys can't even remember to put the seat up and wash their hands!

Thanks for lifting me up so much yesterday. My winter funk is in full swing, which is abundantly clear in the last tearful 24 hours. I'm over-eating A LOT, feeling sluggish A LOT and just feeling unsatisfied with crying, booger encrusted kiddies demanding so much of me. Thank you for carrying us all, even though you probably could use a piggy back ride yourself. The stress of the holidays and not having enough to do all that we want to do is tough for us all right now. Hiking is free. Some museums are free, so we'll satiate my stir crazy-fueled need to go, go, go with the family without a problem, I think. What are you needing right now and how can I help you meet those needs?

Tonight I'm going to cross my fingers that you come home before astronomy class b/c I'm making you some marinated drumsticks, seasoned rice and Caesar-ish salad. Nothing too special but better than last night's sad Mac N Cheese with canned corn offering.

I'll try to dust today, mop the floors and re-vacuum every room since you unknowingly vacuumed with no bag b/c of one little pesky set of hands that removed it and stuffed it under our bed. Poor thing. I'm also washing the kids snotty sheets and the remaining big people laundry.

My mantra today is "finish your tasks and have more PATIENCE with the kids." Of course, per norm, I'll empty/refill the dishwasher, feed the kids every two minutes it seems and accordingly clean up their rejected food crumb tornadoes. I can't be one of the crying kids today like yesterday.

Hope your meeting goes well. Hope the drive home from San Diego doesn't suck. Thank goodness for talk radio and your tape recorder for free thought freeing.

I love you and appreciate all that you do.

Thank you a hundred times over and thanks for letting me go to Bunko last night. It really lifted my mood. When are you going out to get your "me" time?